Don’t bury your negative feelings, says Annalisa Barbieri. It’s good to face them and move on
It is coming up to two years since my boyfriend of four and a half years broke up with me. I had been having doubts about the relationship, but when he called it off I was overwhelmed by the rejection and spent the rest of the year heartbroken, forgetting the relationship wasn’t perfect. I moved to a new city shortly afterwards and have spent the past couple of years working on myself, my hobbies and personal relationships, and am in a happy space.
I am going to a wedding in four months’ time, and he and his new girlfriend will be there. Over the past few months I’ve had a recurring dream that on meeting her, I am disgustingly crude and rude to her. I say the most appallingly bitchy things to my friends (who are also friends of my ex) in order to make me feel better, but it only makes me look undignified. I hate the person I become in this dream, but the feelings of hatred I have towards this woman boil up inside me and even as I type this email, I feel a burning blackness in my heart. It is completely irrational.
I’m dreading meeting my ex and his new partner at a wedding