The Hypervolt massager: it's as if I've grasped an electric fence and can't let go

It pumps out 3,200 percussions a minute to help your muscles recover after exercise. And it does the trick – if you like feeling like a cut of meat being tenderised

The words “personal massaging device” make one spontaneously vibrate with the effort of suppressing a thousand schoolboy jokes, but let’s pretend we are better than that. The Hypervolt, a name that positively screams “fragile masculinity”, is the latest product from Hyperice, a company that usually specialises in foam rollers and ice compression packs with a name that is weirdly reminiscent of Müllerice.

The Hypervolt (£374.99, performbetter.co.uk) looks sci-fi and fun; like Barbarella’s gun. It doesn’t want to be fun, though; it wants to speed up muscle recovery after intense exercise, using percussion therapy. This has nothing to do with nervously air-drumming in a doctor’s waiting room, while you sit expecting the results of your blood test, and this review is also nothing to do with that, so stop worrying and get it together, man. Percussion therapy involves vibrating muscles at high speed, to stretch them out after the tightening effects of exercise, as well as loosen the connective tissues surrounding them. It is not intended for lazy people such as me, who rarely exercise and store all tension in their thoughts. (What if the doctor says I’m not lazy – that there’s actually something wrong with me? Would that be better or worse? Immaterial. Focus.)

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Source: theguardian
The Hypervolt massager: it's as if I've grasped an electric fence and can't let go